Halloween Costumes
by furryballsploppedmenacingly
Summary: Tweek has a costume idea for him and Craig. Just a short cute oneshot. Rated for language.


''So, I thought of what we can go out for Halloween as.''

In the video chat, Craig directs his gaze away from the right (his left) and back towards his Toshiba Handibook, the shitty tablet he bought for video chatting when I decided to go to grad school like four states away. Or maybe it's more states? I don't know the exact number of states away I am. Geography's not my strong suit. Whatever, I'm far enough away that driving takes two days, but I'm close enough that direct flights are cheaper than transfers which is nice because I fucking hate flying and boarding and at least I only have to do it once when I go home. ''I already have a costume,'' Craig answers in his monotone, eyes already drifting back to the right.

I glare even though he's not looking at me to see it. ''What?''

His eyes lazily travel back to the Handibook. ''I'm going to be a ceiling fan.'' My memory hikes back to sitting in Craig's room holding a one of those cheap cotton knockoff jerseys. His fingers brushing over the name on the back. _I can write ceiling on some paper and tape it over this. So I'd be a ceiling fan. Do you get it?_

"That's fucking stupid,'' I say to current Craig, who has the audacity to look bored and maybe even a little annoyed.  
He shrugs and his eyes wander back to the right. "Hey, fucking look at me.''

"Tweek, I'm doing work.''

"I'm not retarded dipshit, I can tell you're looking at the tv. I've been in your living room before.''

He smirks, but at least has the decency to shift in his seat so he's fully facing me instead of the tv. "I'm watching tv while I work. Why are we talking about this anyways? It's December.''

He has a point, not that I'll admit that. "Because I want to dress up as something together! It'd be fun.''

"I don't know if I'll be able to come out there for Halloween, babe.''

"I know, but maybe I can come home for it.''

"Can you?''

"I don't know dude, it's only December.''

He snorts. "My point exactly. It's December. Why are we even talking about this?''

"Because I want to asshole.''

Stupid fucker looks all amused. "Ok fine, hun, what's this brilliant costume idea you have?''

"Well you know It, like the clown book and movies and stuff?''

He rolls his eyes. "Not this again.''

"Shut the fuck up asshole and let me finish! I think we should go as two of the characters. Richie and Eddie. Like we look enough like them that it'd be an easy costume too. And we act sort of like them I think too. I don't know I thought it'd be cute,'' I finish, feeling sort of embarrassed.

"I haven't even seen the movie yet, and neither have you.'' Ya, really fair point there. I haven't seen the movie yet. Ok don't look at me like that! It looks creepy as shit! And no, I haven't seen the old movie or the gay miniseries and I haven't read the book and honestly don't really want to because it sounds depressing as shit and super weird. Like did you know the girl Bev has sex with all of them in the sewers at the end of the book? And they're eleven. Like what the fuck is that? Something about growing up and It can only mess with children or something yada, yada. Point is, it sounds super fucking weird so the films and stuff replaced it with a blood pact, which also doesn't make much sense to me, but maybe it would if I actually watched the new movie. Whatever, I read the interesting parts of plot summaries and character descriptions and I've watched some of the funny scenes of the new movie on YouTube and Craig know I've done all this because I keep telling him about it and he keeps telling me to _just watch the movie_ in his fucking nasally ass voice, so I know enough to make this costume suggestion and _he_ knows I know enough to make this costume suggestion, and goddammit I _will_ be listened to.

"We can watch it over winter break while I'm home,'' I whine. Which I will, but I'm most definitely not watching that shit while Craig is four (or more) states away because fuck that. "But it'd be cute, just look at the characters. And it'd be an easy costume,'' I argue, knowing he'll like the practical nature of a simple and cheap costume.

I send him a picture of the two from the movie, standing around eating ice cream. I think it demonstrates how easy it'd be to mimic the their appearance with minimal effort. I'd wear thick glasses and a Hawaiian shirt with a band t-shirt underneath. Craig would just dress like he normally does, like he already wears khaki shorts and pastel shirts and polos already. Buckle on a fanny pack, and he looks just like the kid. Well, except you know, an adult.

I watch him open the link on his computer, or I mean I presume that's what he's doing based on what I can see. "Fine,'' he groans, "but you're the one wearing the fanny pack.''

I didn't really anticipate this, but I just figure I'll explain who should be who and why. "Well, no you'd be that one. Since you already dress like that sort of so you'd just wear a fanny pack. I have messier hair and ADHD so I'm more like Richie. I'd just wear an old band t-shirt and and get a Hawaiian shirt and wear my glasses instead of my contacts.'' I actually fully plan on buying some costume glasses, that are all thick and magnified, but I really want to sell this costume as being extremely low effort, since I know that'll appeal to him.

"I'm not wearing a fanny pack.''

I wave him away. "I'll buy it for you, like we can just get a cheap one. It's easiest if you're Eddie though. You dress like that and you kinda look like him to be honest. Like a kid version of you. And I own glasses and I'm sure as shit not letting you wear my glasses and potentially lose them at some bar.

"Anyways, like I thought a lot about this and it's really kind of perfect. Eddie's like implied to be gay in the book. Like his biggest fear turns up as a guy with Syphilis chasing him asking to suck his dick because his biggest fears are disease and his own sexuality. And him and Richie are real close and like there's something about them being implied as maybe sort of into each other like that in some of the versions. And then Richie clearly has ADHD because he's always hyperactive and talking too much and saying things without meaning to when he probably shouldn't, which is just like me.''

"Eddie's the one with the fanny pack? Why do I have to be the more gay one?'' he asks.

"What the fuck does it matter which one's more gay!?'' I snap back. I'm starting to get annoyed now. I didn't think he'd have this many objections to which of the two characters he'd be.

"I don't want to wear a fanny pack.''

"Ya, well get the fuck over it asshole because you're going to. No one will know who we are without it.''

"Then you wear it.''

"That's more fucking effort for me to be Eddie! I have long, messy hair. I wear glasses. _You_ dress just like Eddie does and your hair's always shorter and neater.''

I can see that he gets the logic, but he's going to be stubborn anyways. "I'm not wearing a fanny pack.''

"I will literally cry if you don't.''

"Then go ahead and cry because I'm not wearing it.''

"What the fuck do you have against the fanny pack? It's a costume like no one's going to think you _normally_ wear one you fucking moron. I thought you'd like the idea since you could stash weed in it and no one would question it since it's clearly a part of a costume.''

He's back to looking at the tv. "I don't want to wear it.'' I don't answer, just glare. He looks back at the Handibook and sighs. "Oh come on babe, don't get mad at me. I flash my middle finger for the camera and scooch my body over so that I'm not directly facing it anymore.

I start looking through my phone, intentionally making a show of ignoring him. Ya, I know it's petty and immature. Fuck you. I thought really hard about this stupid costume.

"Babe?'' he asks, trying to get my attention. "Come on babe, don't be mad.'' I continue to ignore him looking at my phone.

A few minutes pass and I hear him groan loudly. " _Fine._ I'll wear the stupid fanny pack, but only because I get to put weed and nips in it.''

I jump up so I'm crouched on my seat, a position I find myself in a lot since I always have so much excess energy and I'm required to sit at a desk and do work so often for school. I beam at him through the video chat. "Thank you honey. I love you.''

"Ya, ya,'' he says rolling his eyes. "I love you too you fucking baby.''


End file.
